Happy (Almost) New Year

((Oh man, I completely forgot about the blog on Friday. I haven't been feeling well today, so I'm just going to do another list. I know it's tacky, but I figure with New Years coming, I'll do a summary of my year.))


2012 IS ALMOST OVER, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
Stayed single almost the whole year? More than almost...
Were involved in something you'll never forget? If I have, I've already forgotten...
Tripped over a coffee table? Not that I can remember, but I wouldn't be surprised if I did.
Came close to losing your life? A lady nearly ran me over, but she was at a stop and wasn't paying attention when she started to go, so I don't think my life was in much danger...
Saw one of your favorite bands/artists live? Nah, I would rather see some of my favourite authors live... Which I did last year and will do again next year.
Did something you regret? Not that I can recall...
2012: Friends and Enemies
Did you meet any new friends this year? I made a few friends at college, but I wouldn't call them close friends.
Did you hate anyone? Nah, I'm a pretty easy going person; I don't hate people often.
Did you lose any friends? I may have drifted away from a few, which is sad, but it happens.
2012: Your BIRTHDAY!
Did you have a cake? I had the best cake. It had Pikachu, Squirtle and Charzard on it.
Did you get any presents? Many, and they were all wonderful.
Did you get what you wished for last year? I never really wished for anything...
2012: All about YOU
Did you change at all this year? Probably, but that would be based on the opinion of others.
Did you change your style? I started growing my hair longer... Other than that, I think my style is pretty much the same.
Were you in school? Of course, except during the summer, when I was working.
Did you get good grades? I got more B's than A's, but not too bad.
Did you drive? Yes... Badly... And not very often. But I did get my L early this year.
Did you own a car? I can barely drive a car...
Did anyone close to you give birth? Not that I can think of.
Did you go on any vacations? A few small things, but other than that, nothing big.
Would you change anything about yourself now? I'm pretty happy with what I have.
Did you dye your hair? 
2012: Wrap UP:
Was 2012 a good year? Yeah, nothing too special, but I figure every year has been a good year.
Do you think 2013 will top 2012? Hard to say. I'll be changing universities, hopefully getting a second job, and it doesn't look like my grandma will last much longer after the New Year. However, I think the good will outweigh the bad.
Best thing that happened in 2012? Hmm, that's a hard one. I turned 19, so that was pretty cool. I'm allowed to legally drink, but I don't do it often, and never enough to get drunk.
IN THE YEAR 2012 I CONFESS THAT I…
Kissed in the snow? Nope
in the parking lot? at the beach ? in secret ? Nope nope nope.
Had your heart broken? Nope
Painted a picture? Not even attempted
Wrote a poem? Hmm, I probably did, but nothing strikes me at the moment... This year was rather poem-lacking... Strange...
Ran a mile? Hell no.
Visited a foreign country? I don't think I even went down to the states...
Cut in a line of waiting people? I would feel way too guilty if I did that.
Told someone you were busy when you weren't? Maybe, but I can't remember.
Cooked a disastrous meal? Many times
Lied about how old you were? Nope, never felt the need to
Cried yourself to sleep? I admit, there was one night when we weren't sure if my grandma would be alive the next day. I shed a few tears, but I wouldn't really call it crying...
IN 2012 I….
Broke a promise? I certainly hope not
Lied? Maybe a few small lies..
Disappointed someone close? Again, I hope not.
Hid a secret? Probably, but mostly because I can't remember it. Honestly, my memory is terrible.
Pretended to be happy? I've never felt the need to pretend
Slept under the stars? I slept in a tent...
Met someone who changed your life? Nah, my life has been pretty much unchanged this year.
Changed your outlook on life? Again, unchanged...
Sat home all day doing nothing? Pretty much my whole summer...
Lost something expensive? Not that I can recall
Learned something new about yourself? I'm not as bad at Astronomy as I thought...
Tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it? French Onion Soup was pretty good. And alcohol wasn't as bad as it smells...
Made a change in your life? I applied to a new university. Whether I get accepted will deem if I actually made the change though.
Found out who your true friends were? I've always known.
Met great people? Of course. There are plenty of great people I've met at college.
Stayed up til sunrise? Surprisingly, no. I've been pretty good about going to bed at a decent time.
Cried over the silliest thing? I had a bit of a melt down during my first week of school, when my parents left me home alone with a crazy dog who kept me up until two in the morning on a school night...
Had friends who were drifting away from you? Unfortunately, yes.
Spent most of your money on food? Hehe, yeah... Although I think Christmas shopping balanced it out.
Gotten sick? I was sick twice within about 30 days...
Liked more than 5 people at the same time? Like as a crush or like as a friend? Nay to the former and Yay to the latter.
Became closer with a lot of people? I like to think so.

Christmas Aftermath

It is now December 26th, a day after Christmas day and two days after Christmas Eve. Everything is finally starting to settle down, and I can take a breather to post those pictures I promised. Unfortunately, I don't have the time for energy to get permission from everyone to post their pictures, so everything I post will either include only me, or just objects/dogs.

My sister and I are the ones that wrap most of the presents, and for some reason it has become tradition to wrap them in my room. The picture is a little hard to see, but there were probably about fifteen presents in my room, and another five or so under the tree. My room is still a mess with wrapping paper, tape, ribbon and tags.

My mom bought a pen so that I could paint her some french nails. Since the pen was so easy to use, I decided to put some snowflakes onto my nails. Unfortunately, the quality of my camera makes them very hard to see.

These are the earrings that my cousin and his new wife gave me from Hawaii.

I have finally completed my Lord of the Rings collection, and all I need now is the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean to complete that series too.

I got a really nice small notebook in my stocking.

This is the nail manicure set. It works pretty well, but I'm not really sure what head to use... The two white ones in the box are pretty much the same, the silver one looks like something the dentist would use, the pink one is also similar to the white ones... but pink, and the puffy white one is too soft to make a difference... But I kind of went all out and now my nails are smoother.

The chocolate and candy cane lolly pop a family friend gave me.

The three tubes of scented chapstick, although they're a little hard to see in this picture.

Another small notebook.

Gloves that I can wear while playing on my ipad. Very handy, considering how often I will be bussing out in the cold next semester.

The case used to hold my Chapters gift card. I think we all agreed that it was the best one this Christmas.

And the actual gift card.

The earrings that my mom got me for my birthday, but forgot about and gave me for Christmas instead. One is a skull and the other is a peace sign.

There were a few small stocking stuffers too, like candy and pens and things like that. I also got the Sims 3 Supernatural, but it's downstairs and I'm too lazy to get it, so you'll just have to use your imagination. Maybe later I will post a picture of my Sim. 

A Nutty Norman Night

First off, I must say Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and have a great New Year.

Since I am half Swedish on my dad's side, and since Christmas is a huge deal in northern Europe, we celebrate Christmas on Christmas eve. That means we got to open all our presents tonight. That also means all the hilarious hi-jinx and laughter ensued. But since my memory is terrible, unfortunately I won't be able to remember everything, especially since I'm too lazy to take pictures. However, half my family did have cameras, so I'm hoping they will be willing to send some of them to me to post on Wednesday.

Now, I know everyone loves to know what other people get for Christmas, so here is a list:

$50 gift card to Chapters (This will be buying me A Memory of Light when it comes out in January)
Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
   -Note: I already have the third LotR
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
   -Note: I already have the first and third PotC
The Sims 3 Supernatural
A battery operated manicure set (It polishes the nails)
A pair of gloves with touch screen friendly finger tips
A pair of flower earrings from Hawaii
A pair of earrings with a skull on one and a peace sign on the other
Three tubes of scented chapstick

That is all for now, but I have yet to open my stockings.

And now, I bet you're all interested about the title of this post. Since I don't remember enough to go into detail (I am not drunk, I simple have a bad memory!) I'll just briefly go over a few memorable moments.

There was of course some singing, though it never got past a few lines. I can't even remember what songs were being sung, but I have a feeling they weren't Christmasy... Then there was my dad's and uncle's conversation about Gangnam Style, even though they pronounced it differently every time the said the word. One of the dogs got dressed up in half  dozen ribbons and covered in wrapping paper... And a pillow. We had a family picture and my uncle decided to give me bunny ears, then he gave my aunt bunny ears. So hen those go up on Facebook, it should be interesting...

Looking back at what I have written, it really doesn't look all that different from an average Christmas with family. I guess you really just need to be here to truly enjoy it. But I'm missing out on the fun, so I'm going to wrap this up now. I hope that everyone had a great day and will have an even better Christmas Morning.

Hair Everywhere

This will just be a quick post, since my one from yesterday was so long. I just wanted to quickly say that I can see! Well, as best as I can with my glasses. In other words, I finally got my bangs cut. I'm still growing my hair out, but my bangs had gotten so long that they started growing sideways when they hit my glasses. It made a very weird curl at the end of the hair... Anyway, here's a picture. Sorry for the bad quality, my laptop webcam is pretty bad.

Beautiful, eh? I'm just kind of realizing how pale I really am...

The Hobbit review *SPOILER ALERT*

Today while at the mall with one of my friends, we randomly decided to go see The Hobbit, since we have both read and enjoyed the book. I am also a huge fan of the Lord of the Rings movies, though I have to admit that I wasn't able to get past half way through the second book. It got to the Frodo part and I gave up. I hate Frodo.

Anyway, I'm going to say it now, that I found the movie to be a huge disappointment. I'm going to cut this post into three sections; pros, cons and neutrals.

I also apologize for not posting anything yesterday. I was stuck at my friend's house up on a mountain because of a sudden snowstorm.

Pros

-The acting was amazing. I loved all the dwarves, especially Fili and Kili. Martin Freeman makes an amazing Bilbo Baggins, and as usual, Ian Mckellan was superb as Gandalf.

-It's funny. I know this isn;t really something that should be included in the pros section, especially for an adventure movie like The Hobbit. But the book was funny in some parts, and I love having the comic relief.

-The singing was beautiful. One of the more famous parts in the book was the song in Bilbo's house. It has the deep, dark tone to it, and was song perfectly. It added the solemn tone that persists throughout the movie, and adds the serious element that is only lightened by the comic relief.

-They got some parts right... These some parts include the flaming pinecones, most of the riddle game (Though it was cut short), the golden buttons flying off of Bilbo's shirt (Though it was at the wrong time), and several other small details that escape my mind at the moment.

-The history. It's not part of the books, but I think that it is one of those few times where I actually appreciate something being added. In the book it's hinted to and explained throughout the book, but they couldn't do that without confusing the viewer in the movie, because they cut it into three parts. The only problem is that they got the history partly wrong... And added a few things that were not supposed to be in it. But it got the general message across and was a good start to the story.

-The graphics and filming. It's a small detail that can easily be overlooked, but the details in the movie surpass those of Lord of the Rings. Not by much, but it was still pretty amazing.


Cons

- It didn't follow the book. This will always be the main complaint of anyone who has read a book and later seen the movie for it. I just don't understand why directors cannot follow the book. It's written out for them already, it's just more work for them to re-work everything. In The Hobbit movie, I would say that half the movie was not from the book. That means that half of what they added could have been from the book, and therefore they probably wouldn't have had to cut the movie into three parts.

- It was cut into three parts. I would understand if the book was as large as one of the Lord of the Rings books, but The Hobbit is at least half the size of one book. There was no reason for them to cut it into three parts. Maybe two, since there is a lot going on and sometimes parts need further explanation to let the viewer know what is going on. But the first part is three hours long. I think they could have put at least half the book into one movie, instead of only a third.

- It nearly put me to sleep in some parts. I would not complain so much about the parts they added if they had made those parts interesting. There was way too much talking, and although there was also plenty of fighting, it was the talking parts that bored me. Oddly enough, these talking parts always seem to happen in Rivendale...

- A lot was taken from The Lord of The Rings movies. I suppose like uncle like nephew? There were two huge parts that mirrored each other; Bilbo/Frodo hanging off a cliff and need to be rescued, and Bilbo/Frodo accidentally falling and having the ring slip onto their finger. I understand the hanging off a cliff part, that's done in just about every adventure movie, but the ring part nearly made me burst out laughing.

-Small details that they got wrong. As long as it leads to the same end, I suppose I can't complain, but I would like to see it mirror the book perfectly. But that's an impossible request, as no director can possible do that, right? I suppose it's their way of having a creative touch.

-The Eagles were called by Gandalf. I wouldn't give this a second thought it I had not read the book. But the movie portrays the Eagles as servants to be called upon when in need. Furthermore, they appear to be simple animals, if larger that average. They show no intelligence or hint of being their on 'people'. In the book they happen upon the fire in the trees and pick up Gandalf and company because they owe him a favour. They drop everyone off and stay to chat. This proves that they are intelligent, but also that they are noble, proud and majestic, with a mind of their own that cannot be called upon like a taxi.

Neutral

-The riddle part was cut short. It's not a big deal, I suppose, especially considering I had expected them to butcher it. There was at least one more riddle each with they cut short, one of which it was my favourite riddle. It was disappointing, but I can't really complain.

- The dwarves didn't have hoods. It sounds stupid to anyone who has no read the book, but they entered the house and were mainly described by the colour of their hood and the silver tassel that hung from it. (Hood means hat, by the way) Thorin was the only one to have a golden tassel, marking him as different from the rest. It also goes to show that tiny details were either overlooked or not important enough to deal with, despite the fact that all it needed was a hat added to each dwarf.

-Thorin nearly died. Once again, I can't complain, since it was pretty bad-ass (Pardon my language). It showed his determination, courage and honour, but also an important part that shows up later in the book; his weakness, which is basically just being weak... He is portrayed almost as a god-like figure, strong, bold, and overall an impressive leader. But he is felled with barely a scratch on his foe. It brings him back down to human (or Dwarf) level and shows that he is mortal, and only a little better than his companions.




That's all I can think of for the moment, but I'm sure I will be able to add more later.

So Sleepy

Ugh, I've had way too much food the past few days. All I want to do is curly up an take a nap, but that'll mess with my sleeping pattern even more.

Anyway, yesterday I was working at my mom's museum at a volunteer tea, so there was plenty of baked goods, snacks and small sausage rolls. I just kept going back for more, since it was all so good. Then by around 4:30, we left and I headed to my friend's birthday party. I was a little too late to go bowling, but I watched everyone finish up their games. When we got back to her house, we had a ton of pizza. I mean, there were six large pizzas for about ten or so of us. However, it was some of the best tasting pizza I've ever had, so I couldn't help but have two slices. After we played the wii for a bit, then I had to go home.

But the most interesting thing happened today. Grades have started being posted, and so far only my astronomy one is up. I somehow managed to pull off an A-! This is from a math-heavy course, so I guess the fact that all the math was multiple choice on my final exam really helped me. Now I can't wait to see what I got in my other classes.

Then of course there was the snow. My family and I first drove through a huge downfall of corn snow on the freeway, which was kind of scary because we don't have snow tires on the car yet. Then it stopped for a while, and when we got closer to my house, there was at least an inch, probably more of snow sticking to the ground and road. At my house though there's no evidence that it snowed at all.

So yeah, I'm pretty tired right now and too lazy to make this all that interesting. Hopefully it'll snow more, maybe overnight.

Christmas Zelda

Sorry for the late post, but I was having a party yesterday, and didn't have time to blog about it. But I have a bit of time between cleaning up from last night and when our next guests arrive.

At noon, Kyra and Brandi showed up, and it was around this time that we found out that the Wii is broken. Luckily, I also have a Gamecube, so we set that up. It's not in much better shape, since you have to spin the disk then close the lid fast and hope that it keeps going. But we got it working, and started playing the very first Legend of Zelda game. It was adorable, but harder in some parts than other. The most annoying was that your heart containers don't fill up easily. However, if they are full, you can shoot laser swords, that makes up for everything. And of course, the graphics are terrible, so what is supposed to look like a monster actually looks like one of those Scottish dogs, throwing a sword. Then there were vikings, globs of pudding and a triceratops that eats bombs. All in all it was pretty entertaining. The music started to get on my nerves after a while, and as I was trying to sleep, all I could hear was the Hyrule song playing through my head... Now it is the Song of Storms from Ocarina of Time.

Anyway, once Vanessa showed up, we ate some home made mac n' cheese, then Sianna showed up and we opened presents. Kyra made the best present I have ever seen, which I will post a picture of in a moment. When Liliana showed up, we started eating the chocolate fondue, and later Brittney showed up. Unfortunately, Brittney had to go home a few hours later.

Once it hit around 11, people started trickling off to bed. I think it was around one when Kyra went to bed, leaving Vanessa, Liliana and I to go play the Sims. Long story short, I made myself and albino man and a dog named Pongo Dongo.

Aright, I have to go clean up the rest of the house, because apparently when I have more than three friends over (I had six over yesterday) we end up using most of the dishes in the house. I think today will be the third load of dishes I have done since yesterday morning. But as promised, here is the picture:

The lighting is a little off, and the detail is pretty bad since it was taken with my phone. Kyra made all four of us aprons depicting characters that we represent from Legend of Zelda. On the left I am Link, Sianna is Malon, Brandi is Sheik, and Vanessa is Zelda. If I can, I'll try to get a better picture up of my apron. I also got my birthday present from Kyra, which is a picture of the Great Deku Tree and Link, but drawn to look like a scene from the Giving Tree by Shell Silverstein. It's pretty damn adorable, and very comfy. Again, I'll try to get a picture, if I remember.

Now, off to clean!

So Close!

I have only one more final left! These exams have been dragged out over a whole week, and although that doesn't sound too bad, after four exams, it feels like it's been a month, and there's still two more days left. Anyway, just a quick post before I head off to bed. I guess you might want to know how I feel about each exam... Though probably not. Either way, that's what you're getting.

1) British Literature: Early to Renaissance.
   This one I didn't really know how to study for. We were told what the questions might be like, but not what they were, so we just had to hope that we knew the poems. There were two n King Lear, one of which we had to do. That wasn't too bad, though I can't remember what exactly I had written about. Then there were several other options, ten, I think. We only had to pick five to write about, but it was harder than you would think. Unfortunately, quite a bit of importance was put on metaphysical poetry, and quite honestly, I cannot see it as more than just gibberish. It jumps from metaphor to metaphor with no easily apparent reason, and by the end kind of sounds like it was written by a mad man... But other than that, I think I might have done decently. I think my Lear paragraph might have saved me.

2) World Societies
   This is the one I'm most confident about. We were given the questions ahead of time, so there was plenty to prepare for and study. It was, however, the most writing I've done. I finished two whole booklets and a couple pages from a third, which I think should equal twenty two pages, not back to back. By the every time I touched my thumb, it tingled, and I thought my pinky was about to start bleeding. If fact, I think that was the reason why I finished when I did. It was about two hour in, but I think I could have written a couple more lines, had my hand not hurt so much. But hey, it's okay now, even after my second english exam.

3) Astronomy
   This one is kind of iffy. Since it is a science course, the final was factual, rather than interpretive, so I cannot get marks for having an interesting or well written reply. The math was multiple choice though, so I'm hoping that the answers I got are actually the right answers. The rest wasn't too bad, except for the fact that I completely forgot what Black Matter and Black Energy were... Each of which was worth six marks... Then there was the constellations. I think I got most of them, but we weren't given a word bank, so I probably spelled a couple wrong. Not to mention I'm pretty sure they weren't where they were supposed to be. Cygus was off in the top right corner, and Pegasus was on the opposite side of the page... And I might have read this wrong, but I thought it said that I get one mark for every two constellations I name correctly, and I could get a max of 24 points... But there wasn't even 24 constellations on the map... So maybe it actually said two points for every one named right.

4) British Literature: Restoration to WWII
   This is the one I had tonight. I probably should have prepared more for it, since we were given the essay topic a head of time. But I got a little lazy, and the most I did was pick the poems I would write about, and started formulating stuff in my mind. While I was writing it, I was thinking, "This is amazing!" Then I started reading it over when I finished, and I started to think, "This is utter crap..." But I wasn't able to change it, unless I wanted to re-write the whole thing. So we'll see what happens...

5) Coming Soon!

Cheese

((Since I'm still 'studying' for my finals, I don't have anything new to write. Nothing exciting has happened, except for the fact that we got out Christmas Tree on Saturday. We did a bit of decorating today, but I think we'll finished it throughout the week. Anyway, here is something that I had written for my Personal Narrative class.))

The first attack must have happened when I was in the eleventh grade. At some point in the early morning, my mom woke me up to say that my dad was in a lot of pain, and that my sister had to drive him to the hospital. Because my mom’s seizure less than a year ago, she had been forbidden from driving until a whole year had passed. We were just lucky that my sister was decent enough at driving by this point to be able to brave the freeways in the dark.

                I stayed home with our dog. She wined and cried, and waited near the window, her ears perked for any sound of a car returning, and her eyes never leaving the driveway. Despite how tired I was, I couldn’t get back to sleep. It almost felt disrespectful to try. While my parents and sister were forced to remain awake, sleeping felt like a luxury. I must have gone to bed at some point, however, because I don’t remember when they came home.

                The next morning I was told it was a gall stone. Nothing too severe or life threatening, as long as he worked to cut fat out of his diet. For a Swede, reducing the amount of cheese he ate was nearly impossible.

                Although it sounds cruel, my dad and I like to joke about such things as this, and if someone wipes out on a bike, we’ll wince, and then start laughing. It’s my theory that is you cannot laugh at the pain of others, you cannot deal with that pain yourself. And so that’s how it went in our house. When my mom asked what we should have for dinner, the first thing I would say is ‘macaroni and cheese, with extra cheese, with some cheese melts on the side.” After all, melted cheese is a nightmare for someone with a bad gall bladder.

                But despite the jests and laughing, we knew it was serious. No more pizza, no more mac n’ cheese, no more cheese melts or cheesecake or grilled cheese or lasagna or tacos. Sometimes I would catch him in the morning with several slices of cheese, and he would argue that it’s only once a week. It’s odd, how easily someone can get addicted to cheese, and even stranger how it seemed to be doing more damage to him than his smoking.

Of course, that once-a-week luxury would always catch up to him. Apparently one time in the mall, around Christmas time, he had a small attack while waiting in line at London Drugs.

I can’t exactly remember when, but it was sunny out and I don’t recall a need for a sweater. During the day, he had an attack. As far as I know, it was the first one during the day that had incapacitated him. My sister and I politely tried to ignore the groans of pain coming from his room. Only when it began to die down did I go to check on him. He sent us out to buy some bubbly water, and when we came back, he was beginning to feel better. As he walked around, looking as if he had not slept in days, he gave me a smile and said that he finally knew how much pain a woman went through when they gave birth. That night we had reservations at a formal restaurant for dinner, but due to my dad’s condition, we had to cancel, instead having a light, fat-free dinner at home.

But out of all those times, one of the latest ones was the worst. Like any diligent and hardworking student, I had been up at one thirty in the morning, working on a paper in between checking Facebook. It didn’t feel that late, because my mom was still walking around downstairs, her heels making a constant annoying clicking sound, and I could hear my dad’s heavy footsteps in their bedroom. Although he always went to bed no later than nine thirty on a weekday, it had become normal to hear him stomping from bed to bathroom and back, even in the wee hours of the morning.

It wasn’t long before he was in too much pain, and an ambulance was called. A few minutes passed, and I heard the sirens. It’s odd, how we can dismiss them as just another sound in the night, but the moment it’s coming for someone you love, each second it gets closer and gets louder, feels like an eternity. Suddenly the sound is sharper, as if everything else has been muted, and the only stirring is that wailing sound. The fire truck came first. And another. The ambulance only arrived after one of the fire fighters had concluded that, yes, my dad was in fact having a gall stone attack. As if we couldn’t have figured that out on our own.

                I remained in my room the whole time, though my mind had wandered too far to be able to properly concentrate on my paper anymore. With a house full of fire fighters and paramedics, someone might have expected me to at least peak out my door. But I didn’t want to see my dad in this state.

I could hear them talking, asking questions.

“How are you feeling?”

“Can you stand?”

“Is the pain gone?”

“We will have to ask you to come to the emergency.”

The fire men and paramedics marched past my door, down the stairs, and out the door. Among them was my dad, shuffling along. My mom, now flustered, scampered around the house, talking to herself to make sure she didn’t forget anything.

“Keys, jacket, scarf, purse, wallet, phone, keys… Where are my keys.”

                Only when my mom was the last one in the house did I dare leave my room. She told me that she had to follow the ambulance to the hospital, and would hopefully be back in a few hours. I silently nodded and returned to my room to get ready for bed.

                But who can sleep when their dad is in the hospital, and their mom is tired enough to possibly get in an accident on the way there or back. As I always do when emotions run rampant in my mind, I began to think. Those thoughts turned to writing, and eventually to poetry. It seems it’s the only time I can truly write about feelings; when they are enhanced by an event such as this. So I turned my light on and picked up my notebook to empty those words from my head;

Oh please, please

Let the sirens pass

Just move, move

To let them go.

It comes close,

The call of the Reaper,

The song of the Angels,

And stops.

Silent as death,

The Last breath

That escapes the quivering lips.

And breathes again.

Oh please, please,

Silence the sirens.

Fall quiet, quiet,

As the sleeping babe.

Pounding steps.

The march of an army.

One by one,

They file by.

Go up, up,

To the resting man.

We wait, wait,

For word of hope.

Faceless, nameless,

The army passes,

The beat of his heart.

Keep walking, keep beating.

Oh please, please,

Let the Sirens pass.

Just move, move,

To let them go.

I placed the notebook down, and succumbed to my leaden eyes.

Like the first time, my dog kept watch, ever vigilant for the car to return. By four in the morning I jolted away to the sound of her happy barking. It must have been adrenalin that made me jump out of bed and rush downstairs, because on any other day, if I was woken at that ungodly hour, I would have just groaned and rolled over. They were both home, looking haggard from the ordeal, but they were most definitely alive. I exchanged a few words before exhaustion crashed down again. As I returned to bed, all I thought was that I was thankful my first class started at four thirty that night, and that I would have plenty of time to sleep in.

He’s getting the gall bladder removed soon, sometime in March. We’re all looking forward to being able to make a cheesy dinner without feeling like we’re taunting him. But once it’s gone, we’ll have to worry about heart attacks. I think I would rather be deprived of cheese, than deprived of a father.

Two Down, Three to Go

Like the title says, I've finished two of my finals, and I have three more to go. Unfortunately, the three I have left are going to be the hardest. In astronomy there will be a ton of math, and I'm pretty bad when it comes to that. I'm hoping there will be a lot on the planets, and not so much on the starts... Then I have nothing planned for my English final. I'm thinking of comparing a Victorian Age poem and an early 20th century poem, but I have to find two at are similar... Then there is my Canada Before Confederation final... Which I can't bring myself to hope to do well in. Pass, maybe, but there are so many dates and things to remember.

But anyway, my hand hurts from writing about twenty two pages worth of essays and short answers today... I think so, at least. It was two packages and two pages of a third, and I think each package is made of ten pages. Either way, it was a ton. Every time I touch my thumb, it tingles, and it felt like my pinky was about to start bleeding as I wrote it. Not to mention there's a small spot on my middle finger where the fingerprint has been worn away... Ah, the woes of an english/creative writing student. Too many in class essays...

So I think I'll let my hand rest tonight, and any studying will be just going over notes, not writing anything new. I was kind of hoping to watch a movie though... I shouldn't, but I really want to...

One More Week

Okay guys, I'm good. Just had a moment of weakness on Monday. However, I am still pretty bummed about my story. I'm going to try and find some writing contests, and see if I can enter any. Unfortunately, the site I have that has a ton of contests, I cannot remember the password for my account, and no e-mails from it are getting through for some reason. I've been looking around on Google, but I'm a little hesitant about any contests asking for an entry fee. But, I'll try harder when my exams are done.

Which brings up the subject of finals. I have my first final tomorrow, so I really should be studying now... But it's an English final, so really, what can you study for? I'm more worried about my history final on Friday, but luckily my professor gave us a guideline for everything we have to study, so all I have to do is actually study... But it's me, and I hate studying. Then on Monday I have my Astronomy final, so I'll be studying all weekend for that. On Tuesday I have my other English final, so i should finish reading the book for that one... Then lastly I have my other History final on Thursday, which I know I'm going to do poorly on, simply because I cannot for the life of me remember dates.

Well, back to my work now. Good luck to anyone else who has finals too.

Not Good Enough

Not too long ago, I briefly mentioned that the short story I had previously believed was going to be published, with only up for consideration. This morning I received word that it wasn't picked for the final publication. What makes it worse is that the grandma I wrote it about isn't doing so well, and it looks like she won't last much longer. Not to mention without that publication, I find it hard to believe that I will get into the program at the university I want, or even into the university in general.

I think I knew that something like this would happen. When I got the e-mail earlier this year, I was overjoyed, and terrified that something would go wrong. It has always been my luck that as soon as something as good as this happens, something comes along to ruin it. Now I'm just thinking that if I cannot get published in the anthology of a common college, how the hell will I get anything published in the real world?

I wish people would tell me the truth. I know my friends and family will never tell me their true opinion on my writing, and that is as hurtful as being told by a stranger that I suck. Ever since grade six, I have wanted to become a writing. I've worked towards it, never looking elsewhere for a different career or something that may suit me better. I've always known that I would need a second job to support myself, of course. Very few new writers can come up with something brilliant enough to support themselves without a separate source of income.

I don't know what to say. I've lost all words, and I just want to give up. I was stupid to think that my passion could be my job.