Disappointed, but Hopeful

I was hoping to post some good news, but it looks like that might have to wait a few more weeks. I failed my N test. It still makes me cringe to think of that. It makes my head hurt and my mind start punching itself. It makes me want to hide in a room and ignore everyone. For anyone that knows me, they will understand how much it means when I say that I cried.

I don't fail. Not with important stuff. That's not to say that I'm an over achiever. I'm one of those lucky people that can kind of coast by with minimal practice or studying. I do fairly well with school and work. When it comes to crunch time, I will hate myself, but I can normally keep calm enough to get through everything.

I stalled my car before I even got out of the parking lot. I forgot to take the emergency brake off. Luckily, my tester seemed pretty easy going. If I had not made one major mistake, I would have passed, despite occasionally forgetting my signal, or to shoulder check. The really embarrassing part, is that this is the exact same mistake my sister made.

I was near the end, driving through back streets. These back streets are weird. It'll be a complete through road, until one intersection, where there will be a stop sign. This wasn't the problem. I knew there was a stop sign there, so I stopped. I looked left, right, left again. I didn't easy forward though, and there were trees blocking part of my view to my right. So I went.

And this is where that easy luck failed me. Normally luck corrects my mistakes, but I think by this point I had used it all up. Well, most of it. I didn't get hit, I didn't even scratch my car, or any car! However, there was a car on the through road that put me into a dangerous situation. Had it been going faster, I would have been hit.

At the end of the test, the tester told me that he was impressed with my gear shifting, which was probably the most surprising to me. I made sure that I never shifted gears in an intersection or while turning. The car sounded horrible. But I guess he's probably heard and seen worse.

What I am most proud of is my backing in. From my previous posts, everyone should know that this is what I was most worried about. When we got back to the parking lot, there were very few spots available. I picked one right next to a large van, because the only other ones were either too close to the entrance, or they were in the corner, where I couldn't get into. Even worse, the owners of the truck were sitting inside it, watching as I was backing up right next to them. I actually managed to pull in, with minimal correcting, and with no contact with other cars (or people). It was straight, if a little tight. I blame that on the fact that I was parking right next to a massive truck though, which was really close to the line. I really with I had thought to take a picture, to prove that I did it.

So after my hour or so of self loathing and wallowing in my pit of pity, I think I can finally come to terms with this. Driving is not my strong suit. I don't like driving. It's not something I can be proud of. I know a lot of people believed that I could do it, but I learned years ago to never trust people in this way. The nature of friends is to comfort and support. Even if they had an inkling of doubt, they would never say it. And I'm okay with this. I don't feel like I let anyone down except myself. And I know that my friends will still continue to comfort and support me.

Next time guys! I swear. I can only get better from here.

Unreliability is Just the Worst

I hate unreliable people. I really, really hate them. It's not too bad when it's something casual, like hanging out with friends, but when it comes to work... Please, anyone trying to get a job, or even has a job, you will be everyone's best friend at work is you actually show up for the shifts you're scheduled for. You'll even be liked if you call a week ahead for a day you can't work. But two days before a shift that can't be filled? Big no! Especially if your poor manager is dealing with inventory and a driving test at the same time!

And rant over. On another note, I'm still freaking out about my driving test. I've talked to a bunch of people, and they all said pretty much the same thing; shoulder check, stay at a consistent speed, watch out for playground zones, and be careful when the tester asks you to pull over for a hazard check. Oh, and don't freak out... Still, I'm feeling a bit better. I'm still horrible at backing up, but I've never actually done it with cars on either side of the spot. I think it might be a bit easier, because I'll have something to tell if I'm straight or not. For now, my dad just stands where the edge of the car would be, but he's just a point, not a line, so I can't tell if I'm straight in the spot. However, I can barely see anything out of the back of my car, because the windows are small and I'm kind of short (well, average height, but the car is big.) So I'm kind of nervous that I won't be able to see the car I'm parking next to until after I have to turn. And of course, the car I'm driving on seems to have a horrible turning radius. I'm not sure if it's normal, but when I crank the wheel, it only goes around once before stopping. This doesn't seem like much, and the car makes a wide turn. 

But we'll see how it goes. At least I'm more confident about inventory at work. I was given a walk through, and I've been promised help if I need any, so I think I can do this. It's just going to be a very long week, especially if I have to fill in for someone who is the cause of the above rant... 

Adulthood

My driving test is coming up in a week, and I'm kind of freaking out. How do people learn to park! Why do people back into parking spots? You're just making it a requirement for us to do so! And I've done barely any practicing, because I hate driving and I'm trying to avoid it like the plague, but I have to grow up and be an adult.

Being an adult is hard. Can I just go back to being a kid now?

"We'll Break His Legs!"

I made a new shirt! And by made, I mean I bought a shirt from Value Village and painted on it.

I made one for my boyfriend for Christmas, and it turned out great. The next two I made after that were only okay, but the most recent one turned out amazing. So well, in fact, that it received a great response on Reddit, and now apparently I'm tagged as the "real life Nora Valkyrie."

For any RWBY fans out there, it's a Nora shirt. On one side, it says "We'll Break His Legs!" For non-RWBY fans, it's a scene from the show where Nora offers her suggestion to break a bullies legs after she finds out that her friend is being bullied.

The shirt had such a great response that I'm considering making more and trying to sell them on etsy. Of course, I have to check about copyright and everything, not to mention I have to consider the responsibility. It takes about half an hour to make one shirt, and a few more hours for it to dry. In addition, I would have to buy the shirt and paint, and pay for the shipping costs. I've wanted to try my hand at selling nerd shirts for a while, but it might be harder than I actually thought.

But hey, maybe if I have some time, and people really want it, I'll give it a shot. It'll be a pretty good way to earn some extra money.

Manager Update

Update on the promotion!

I don't think this'll be too bad. I know most of this, and most of the stuff I know is what I have to do weekly. Once I can finally chat with the district manager and merchandiser, I think I'll have everything under control.

Now I just need to change my name tag to read Starbucks Manager.

But the most important thing now, is that I'm actually pretty happy with my job. I don't mind going to work anymore. When I was first promoted, I have to admit that I was rather bummed. I wanted to job at a bookstore, or a nerd store. Somewhere that I would fit in a bit better. But I think I can put that off for another year or so, or maybe try to get a job in the fall.

Promotion

I'm so sorry for the long break since my last post. It's been Happy Hour at Starbucks, so I've been working a lot more than usual.

And it looks like this wont end for another few months. Because of unfortunate circumstances, I've gotten a promotion. This should be good news, but I only got it because of a medical emergency that my manager had, and I just happened to be the assistant. The last two times that I had a chance to be manager, someone else stepped up and saved me. I didn't have a chance this time.

I'm not angry, not really. I know it couldn't be avoided, and it's not my managers fault. I really hope she gets better soon. To be honest, I'm nervous. I've been assistant for a little over a year now, but I've always done the simple and easy things, like schedules and orders. Now I have to deal with inventory, paper work and being organized. I just keep telling myself that all managers need to go through a learning curve when they start. My first manager told me that everyone hated her when she first started, because she constantly made mistakes. And my second manager was thrust into the position with no previous training. It's because of her that I became assistant. And I know that the store managers will be willing to help out as much as they can. I think they all understand that this was a shock for all of us, and that I'm not all that prepared.

In addition, I think one of my coworkers will be willing to be trained as assistant. He's been working at Starbucks for nearly as long as I have, so he's just as qualified as I was when I became manager. However, he might not consider it to be worth it. I think I can convince him though.

As it is, I'm already making changes. I feel bad taking advantage of my manager's bad health, but there were a few changes that had to be made, mostly what concerned other workers and their happiness with schedules. I really hope that I can be good enough at this position.

So that's the big news of the week. I'll keep everyone updated over the next few weeks.