In Reply

(read this post first)

In Reply

Hello Brain. I'm sorry I left. I wandered off, and just kept wandering. I got lost, and no one came. But I've been pointed in the right direction, and I'm coming back. The road is long and I've accumulated some thorns, perhaps more than is justified. They can be broken, much easier than I will be. Because you see, I'm not afraid anymore. I'm out of practice, but I will learn. I have forgotten, but I will remember. I was content, but now I am happy. Thank you.
-Heart

The Long Lost Roommate

Whoops, I forgot that yesterday was Thursday. But believe it or not, I actually had a social life! It was kind of an accident, actually. But onto some writing!

The Long Lost Roommate

Hey Heart, it's me, Brain. I know you've been off chasing wild dreams and fawning over useless junk, but I need you to come back now. Dreams are great, but should really be left to me, and I know you just absolutely love that video game, and all those books, but you really need to get focused. You're a Heart. You were meant to love, but objects and dreams cannot love you back. I know you're a little out of practice, but take it a step at a time. Then start running. I know you can do it. You were so affectionate when we were younger, what happened? And don't give me all that bullshit about no one loving you, or that you're just too shy, or that you have no time. You have a great life, you're really not that shy, and you have more time than you think. That is, if you don't waste it. Time is passing, we're aging, and it's only going to get harder. So come back to me, Heart. Listen to Brain for once. Love isn't that scary.

Love is Not the Only Thing You Need

First off, before I continue with the post, I need to apologize for the recent lock of this blog. I realised it was because of the link I posted on Wednesday, and somewhere at Google a computer probably thought it was spam. Luckily, it's been resolved, and in defiance, I'm going to say screw you Google, I'll post a link whenever I want.

Now onto my serious matters... In my opinion.

Through the last few years, starting probably in grade ten or so, I've noticed that most girls my age have become addicted to the word 'love'. Now I'm not saying it's a bad word, nor am I shunning it, but I feel like the meaning of it has become jaded.

That's your favourite shirt? You love it. Your favourite ice cream flavour, you love it. You love shoes, make up, actors, clothing, songs, musicians, technology. Anything you have an interest in, you love. I admit, I do this too. I love books, movies, medieval times, nail polish and the list goes on. However, these are objects, and all these objects have their opposites. For example, I love medieval fantasy books, and I hate teen fiction. I love adventure movies, and I hate sappy romances. These are objects that we can easily say we love or hate, and therefore our affection towards them is not as strong as toward a person.

You can probably relate with me until this point, but if you know me, you'll probably also know where I'm getting at. Most, if not all of my friends, will say that they love each other. I just don't understand. I don't love my friends, (Sorry guys, but you'll understand... I hope.) and I find it awkward to even think about saying that I do. I love my parents because they gave me life, nurtured and raised me. Most of all, they love me unconditionally. I highly doubt there is anything I can do that will make them stop loving me. It's just something natural.

Now my friends on the other hand, although I like hanging out with them, and I would hate to lose them, I do not love. They have not been with me my whole life, nor have they done anything of particular significance to earn my love. They have made my life a pleasure to live, and for that I am thankful, but it will never be the same as what my parents have done.

This could possibly stem from the fact that I have never had a best friend for more than about five or six years. Before I can even remember properly, I had my first best friend, who moved away when I was probably four. At that point, I made a new friend in a new neighbourhood. We drifted apart in grade six, when I made my second best friend. We then went our separate ways in grade nine, where I was already making two new best friends. These two I still consider to be my best friends. But as you can see, we lose and gain friends over the years. We stop talking to people who we used to talk to every day.

Now to touch on the subject of boyfriends. If you don't know me well (or at all, to my viewer in Russia.), you may be surprised to know that I have never been in a relationship. I have been on one date, but the next day I promptly ended any chance of going further because I could not bring myself to even think of being romantic. I could stand being friends, but I honestly had no idea what I would do if it came to affection. My nearly complete lack of a loving personality may be because or the root of never really being noticed by guys. And you know what? I'm fine with it. Most girls would be pouting and crying over no one loving them or that they don't have a boyfriend. The answer is to just accept it. That's right. Damn right accept it already! Because you know what? If you are happy, there is bound to be someone out there who will love you, and when that times comes, it will be all the better if you think that it would never happen. It'll be something pleasantly unexpected.

There you are. My secret to why I am nearly nineteen, never had a boyfriend, appear to be completely loveless, but still find it hard to be sad. And of course, to all my friends, this is also why I don't like hugs. It's a show of affection that I reserve for my family and torturing my sister.

There is so much more I could say, but I find it hard to put into words. I suppose the easiest way to describe me would be reserved in love.